December 12 2018
Ever walk into a cafe and feel contempt for all the people sitting there, doing work? Why? They didn’t do anything wrong. But you still feel contempt. And maybe they feel contempt towards you. Okay so maybe the cafe example doesn’t work for you. Maybe it’s at work. Or at school. I never really felt contempt when I was younger. Because I wanted to be a writer. That’s when you study people, you study their hearts, you study their minds, and you study their bodies. They are all beautiful creatures, characters in a grand grand play written by the Creator. A writer views the world from this perspective. People do what they do because they are meant to do it. As a writer, you simply wish to capture the essence of what they do, and express it artfully. Then, I became a marketer. Now people weren’t people, beautiful characters who loved, and cried, and did great things unseen, and murdered people, and did it all because of this amazing puppet show of a world we live in. Now people were what the industry calls — demographics. Demographics. Black people tend to buy this kind of stuff. The south buys this. Teens don’t have money. Etc. As a writer, I wanted to capture the world as I saw it. As a marketer, I wanted to INFLUENCE the world to my liking. Influence means control and power. Power means that some people are IN POWER, and some people lack power. And in the end, that just means some people are slaves, and some people aren’t. I struggled with this, internally, for a long time. I never sought power for power’s sake. Yes I like to be the center of attention from time to time, but I never wanted to be responsible for the actions, overtly or covertly, of millions of people. I never wanted to be “an influencer” or a “politician”. I was an artist, I dealt with things far far more existential and superior than the influences of this common world. And then one day, when I became a marketer (due to financial stresses), all that changed. My life turned, from a painting into an excel sheet. Now, what matters to me is making money. Making millions of dollars. Stacking it. Then holding on to it, preserving it, so I can preserve my sensibilities, my ego, my ivory tower. I can stay separated from the suffering of the world. I have seen that suffering. Once, it was beautiful. But having seen the people I love suffer because of society, because of the cruelty of the world, I vowed to the Creator I would never let that happen again as long as those people that I am here to protect exist. But I hope I can still save my soul. I hope that I can return to the observant, optimistic, Eddy I once was.— by looking at suffering as a fact of life, instead of something we can “control”. Better yet, instead of “returning” I hope to progress into a man who can feel inner peace with the choices I made, love myself, and share the love with those I come across. And when it comes to making money, and demographics, I’ll have to make a choice one day. For now, though, would you like to buy this?